Friday, September 25, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090925

Victory! We have obtained Spock once more, and returned him safely to the Starship Coco-Muff! Our Klingon adversary, Khorazhar, made the mistake of not watching Mr. Spock as closely as he should have, and when the brute's back was turned, or first mate made his escape. We followed a trail of clues left by our beloved Spock as he ran for his life, and finally recovered him in a bush. Unfortunately, Spock had no chance to strip himself of the vile female apparel that was forced upon him, but at this point, embarrassment was the least of his worries.

Spock graces us with his logical majesty once more, and we are content. Lt. Turley, Slasher, Ensign Crosby, and I, even took Spock grocery shopping with us! outing that we might have enjoyed slightly more than our Vulcan friend did...

Captain Eleanor Bradford of the Starship Coco-Muff

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090917

We are still in a state of shock and despair aboard the Starship Coco-Muff, as we try to go on without our beloved first mate. His absence is like an open wound. And as if we weren't already distressed enough, we've received more evidence of Spock's torture.

Khorazhar LorNih, the Klingon scum responsible for this heinous crime, has posted his ransom:

"My demand is this: that each of you pledge your loyalty and support to the Klingon Empire forever! Then and only then will I release your pitiful little creature." -Khorazhar LorNih

Never, I say! Spock is strong, as so are we. We can survive anything, EXCEPT the degradation and humiliation of aligning ourselves with foul and unprincipled Klingons! Hang in their, Spock!

Captain Eleanor Bradford of the Starship Coco-Muff

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090916

We are horrified to report that Spock has gone missing!

A thorough search of the Starship proved that our beloved first mate was nowhere to be found, and we wasted no time in advertising the calamity to the best of our efforts. (A poster now adorns our front door, and the mail chamber.)

Only minutes after our discovery, we received a claim from a Klingon that he had taken Spock captive. Wary at first, we investigated, only to stumble upon photographs of our stripling Vulcan's torture.

Readers, we hereby vow to have vengeance! This act of terrorism will not be permitted.

We leave you with the shocking evidence of Spock's capture.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090915.1

Captain's Log, Stardate 090915

Spock has returned, successful, with Slasher. While we have on good authority that the supposed affair was mere rumor, we do have proof of Spock's...adventures...with the inhabitants of Hicktown I.

Here, we present Spock relaxing in the natural wonder of the indigenous planet.

(We apologize for the inability to post any more pictures. Technological fail prevents this.)

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Friday, September 11, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090911

Spock has departed with Slasher on his first mission. Our doctor has received a request from her father to assist him with her medical expertise. The Coco-Muff successfully beamed both first mate and physician down on planet Hicktown I, where the team made a pit stop at the Golden Arch.

An anonymous tip has led us to consider the possibility of an illicit love affair between Spock and Slash, but we are optimistic that such rumours are nonsense, grounded--perhaps--in jealousy. Spock is, after all, a highly prized commodity.

Live long and prosper.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090908.1

Spock has graced the ship with logical glory for a mere three hours now, but already his presence has instilled awe among the crew. One yeoman in particular was so struck that he bowed down before the glory of our first mate.

Slasher, however, seemed less than impressed. She failed to notice him, even when across the room and with his most impressive of poses, until we as captains intervened. Although he hides it well--as all Vulcans do--we cannot help but wonder if Spock feels slighted. Despite this, they appear to have reached a friendly accord.

We anticipate an eventful week.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Captain's Log, Stardate 090908

At last! Stripling Spock has blessed us with his glorious presence! The crew is simply ecstatic, and rushed to fawn over him and his toned abs, but Spock instantly repelled our affections by informing us that our attentions were highly illogical. Nevertheless, we hold him in high regard as the most valuable first officer this galaxy has ever seen.

And now begins our voyage aboard the Starship Coco-Muff. Our mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man (or woman) has gone before!

Captain Eleanor Bradford of the Starship Coco-Muff

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090906

Anticipation mounts as we await Mr. Spock's arrival. The crew has cooked up a few surprises for our first mate, and the party is sure to be a blast. Our ship's doctor, Sara Lindgren (more affectionately known as "Slasher") has placed balloons of assorted colors along the walls of the bridge, and Lieutenant Liza Turley has programmed the ship's computer to sing "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" upon Spock's entrance. We doubt that Mr. Spock will get much enjoyment from our charades, but it is our duty to provide him a warm, we're all just so deliriously happy to have him (and his rippling pectorals) aboard the Starship Coco-Muff! Shake that grove thing, Mr. Spock! Meanwhile, we'll count down the hours...

Kirk: My friend is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears. They're ... actually quite easy to explain.
Spock: Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child...
Kirk: The unfortunate accident he had as a child, he caught his head in a mechanical ... rice picker.
City on the Edge of Forever

Captain Eleanor Bradford of the Starship Coco-Muff

Friday, September 4, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 090904

Success has come to us in the form of e-bay auctions, for the vintage Spock is now our beloved first mate. We begin this log of our adventures with a picture of our prize.

Live long and prosper, readers.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff