Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Captain's Log, Stardate: 100615

First Officer Spock and I have recently returned to our post on Planet Lake of Salt after an expedition to Planet Gelato XII. The weather was a force to be reckoned with, but Mr. Spock found it to his liking, as it was nearly as hot as Vulcan. Though Spock insisted that it was not necessary, we stopped many times for the delicious Gelato for which the planet is named. Our mission was to achieve the highest vantage point possible so as to carry out our observations of the planet, and 493 steps later, we accomplished our mission. I found myself quite depleted of enegry after such an expedition but Mr. Spock merely raised an eyebrow at me, not in the least bit winded himself. When we had fulfilled our duty, we boarded the Coco-Muff once more, heading out into the wide expanse of space.

Co-Captain Eleanor Bradford, Starship Coco-Muff

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Captain's Log, Stardate 10217

After an unforeseen need arose for Spock and I to travel to the Valley of the Sun, we crossed paths with a number of exotic species previously undiscovered by man or Vulcan. Spock, with the rippling pectorals of a true stud, vanquished the creatures in battle, forced them into submission, and trained them as mounts for his glorious visage.

The first creature has been classified as sandwormus minimus, or miniature Sandworm. Their full-sized counterparts are commonly found on Saturn. This is among the first of the smaller breed to be domesticated. We call him Steve.

The second creature was more vicious, but Spock triumphed nonetheless. Careful study led Spock to believe it an extremely rare murlocus sapien, or Murloc. These barbaric creatures are often slaughtered so that travelers may search through their nonexistent pockets for Brutal Warhammers of Eternal Darkness. They are found most predominantly by lakeside or sea shore. (And World of Warcraft.) Spock has dubbed this creature Dorsey.

While this trip has raised our spirits somewhat, we remain in a constant state of longing for Captain Bradford and Spock. (Spock will not admit to missing his twin, but one may see the grief in his eyes.)

Live long and prosper!

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Captain's Log, Stardate: 100216

Our beloved first mate and I have landed on Planet Deutchland, and the experience has been quite magnificent. That is, aside from our living quarters, which are overpopulared by porcelain figures of questionable workmanship. Spock, of course, says that adornments of this kind are uneccesary and illiogical, and frankly, I must agree. Recently, we were assigned to visit the planet Escargot IV, where Mr. Spock would be conducting a series of scientific testing. He found it quite difficult to carry out his experiments, however, as the local inhabitants were constantly swarming him and making obscene comments about his ripling abdominals. I am glad to be back at our post, where I can catch up on sleep and relax, though Spock insists that he doesn't need it. But whether he admits it or not, he misses the rest of our Coco-Muff crew as much as I do.

Co-Captain Eleanor Bradford, Starship Coco-Muff

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 091210.1

Exploration of the Starship led to a discovery of Captain Bradford and Lt. Turley on a quest to retriever Lt. Pendragon from a solo mission. Naturally, Spock and Spock accompanied them.

It is only logical to feel jealousy for our captain and lieutenant. Our first mates our highly prized commodities.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Captain's Log, Stardate 091210

The crew of the Coco-Muff took a detour and sent a landing crew to the surface of Bannerpole IX after a snowstorm took the ship by surprise.

Spock and Spock explored the terrain extensively, immediately discovering an intelligent life-form comprised entirely of snow. She took an immediate liking to our beloved first mates. They indulged her a photograph, which she promised to cherish until the day she melted.

Lt. Lily Pendragon was sadly overcome with distress when the harsh climate worsened. Fortunately, however, Spock and Spock were able to revive her with ease and she spent the rest of the mission in good health.

After coming across strange ruins, our studly crew mates determined that life one prevailed on Bannerpole IX, but some unforseen catastrophe (perhaps a severe blizzard?) destroyed much of the world. Nevertheless, we were able to report back to Starfleet with high spirits over the discoveries.

Live long and prosper, readers.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 091122

The landing crew of the Starship Coco-Muff has completed its task in the Valley of the Sun on Planet Phoenix II with stunning enthusiasm (and fun).

Lt. Lily Pendragon, yeoman Danielle Lovell, and myself attended a showing of The Phantom of the Opera with the purpose of ensuring that the play went without mishap.

Spock sat guard in the near-back. We believe that his very presence added to the show, and because of it, the performance went smoothly.

The show deeply touched all human members of the crew, but Spock did not comment on the illogic of our tears, as he understood the sheer, epic power we felt as a collective audience.

I remain, gentlemen, your obedient servant.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff

Friday, November 20, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate 091121.1

Success! After perusing the proverbial marketplace, the landing crew of the Starship Coco-Muff was able to recruit a (somewhat) worthy ho for its most beloved piece of man-flesh.

The Barbie Ho could not contain her excitement upon being selected as an elite member of Spock's harem, and although our first mate deigned to allow her to lavish attention, we suspect his logic was displeased with the affair. Nevertheless, the Barbie Ho has long forgotten her former pimp, Ken, and pledged supreme loyalty to the Coco-Muff and its crew.

It should be noted that Spock positively rocks a nice pair of shades.

Details on the mission to the Valley of the Sun will be posted at a later date. For now, dear readers, live long and prosper.

Captain Brigitte Lovell of the Starship Coco-Muff